Borrowing Words

American author and professor Norman Cousins once said, "Words need to be crafted, not sprayed. They need to be fitted together with infinite care."  French poet and essayist Charles Peguy added, "A word is not the same with one writer as with another.  One tears it from his guts.  The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket."  Edward Morrison is famous for his quote, "Like stones, words are laborious and unforgiving, and the fitting of them together, like the fitting of stones, demands great patience and strength of purpose and particular skill."

As I've stared at my computer over the last few weeks, trying to write several different stories for my classes and then to revise those stories, I've come to realize the truth of these sayings.  Writing is hard work.  Several times I've asked myself why I think I enjoy doing this.  I've checked Facebook every five minutes or taken my daughters for a walk or vacuumed the living to avoid wrestling with that story waiting on my computer.

At the 2001 ICWF Spring WorDshop, writer and speaker Marcia Laycock presented the idea that we borrow words from God.  He created this world, gave us the ability to communicate with each other, and He owns our words.  Marcia said that He has given each of us fields to write and speak in.  We borrow His words, let them hum in us and be voiced in our voice, and express them in our field.

Borrowing words.  I like that idea as it conveys a sense of both inspiration and purpose.  My words are not my own; God lends them to me to give to others.  So as I struggle to put words to my experience, it is not only for the catharsis that I find in writing about what happened, but also for the reader to borrow from me and my words.  (And in a sense, I'm borrowing this entire blog post from other writers!)

When God calls Moses at the burning bush, Moses makes a bunch of excuses.  He knows how hard it will to be to walk back into Egypt and do what God wants him to do.  His final excuse is that he can't talk.  God tells him, “Who gives people the ability to speak? Who’s responsible for making them unable to speak or hard of hearing, sighted or blind? Isn’t it I, the LORD?  Now go! I’ll help you speak, and I’ll teach you what you should say" (Exodus 4:11-12 CEB).

Later, when God calls Jeremiah to prophesy for him, Jeremiah makes a similar excuse.  He says he doesn't know how to speak because he is "only a child."  God says that doesn't matter: "Where I send you, you must go; what I tell you, you must say.  I’m putting my words in your mouth" (Jeremiah 1:7, 9 CEB).  I find those stories encouraging, because often I feel that I don't have the words or experience or skills.  Yet just like Moses and Jeremiah, I can borrow the words that God wants me to share with those around me.

How to Watch The Voice

On Saturday night after we'd put the girls to bed, my husband and I sat down to catch up on the new season of The Voice.  He's been working a lot this week (between law school and his part-time job), so it was nice to snuggle together on the couch and sip some honey mead while enjoying the music.  We talked about which artists we liked, which coach would turn around and which coach the participant should pick.  I'm rooting for Blake Shelton (because I like his music) and Christine Aguilera (just because).

On Sunday night, my husband was at the computer in the living room while I was loading some dishes into the dishwasher in the kitchen.  I heard him tell Sunshine, "Go ask Mommy if she wants to watch The Voice or do something else."

Sunshine came running down the hallway to relay the message.  I said, "Sure."

She took that message back to Daddy.  I knew my answer was vague and he'd repeat the question, but this time Sunshine answered it herself: "The Voice."

"Do you know what The Voice is?" my husband asked, which was the same question I'd been wondering.  We watched a few episodes last year with the girls (they liked dancing to it), but it's been a while since they've seen it.  "What do people do on The Voice?" he continued.

"They sing!" Sunshine declared and we laughed.  Okay, if she knew what the show was, she could watch it with us.  My husband started the computer and found the website while I settled on the couch with the girls.  For a few minutes, they were happy watching.

Then Lily wanted some milk, so Sunshine wanted some juice, so Lily wanted some juice.  On a commercial break, my husband went rooting through the fridge, causing both girls to want a snack.  Silence reigned as they munched the first half of their bananas.  Then the bananas got abandoned as they found a new game: climb on Daddy.

Sunshine got onto the footstool, grabbed my husband's hands to walk along his legs, then crawled over me onto the couch, jumped down, and tried it again.  Lily followed suit.  The music was drowned out under their squeals of laughter and cries of "my turn!"  After several rounds, I put a stop to the game.  They complained and tried different variations of the game ("let's crawl on Daddy instead of walking on him!") while I issues severe warnings to be quiet so I could listen to the artist who was finally doing a country song (my biggest beef with the show: not enough country artists, despite Blake Shelton's presence there).

Lily found her blanket and came back to sit on my lap, where she played hide and seek under the blanket.  Sunshine put her pink stethoscope around her waist and pretended to call Grandma with the round part pressed against her ear.  "Watch the show," I told Lily as a new contestant came onto the stage, and she turned around, wrapped in her blanket, to give the show two minutes of attention.

Sunshine found the MarbleWorks tower I built them a few days ago  and began dismantling it.  Lily joined her while I listened to the coaches' comments on the last participant.  Then Sunshine was on the couch in front of me, waving two wands made of MarbleWorks pieces in front of my face, while Lily sat in my lap trying to put her big wooden rosary over my head.  As I dodged faces and rosaries and toys to see the game, I thought back to the night before.

Same TV show.  Same couch.  Date night.  Family night.

What does "date night" or "family night" look like at your house?  If you watch The Voice, whose team are you rooting for?

Seven Quick Takes for Sunshine's 4th Birthday

Today Sunshine turns four.  Even though she's been talking about this for the past several months, I'm still wondering how she got so old so fast.  Was it really four years ago today that I held her for the first time?  That seems both so long ago and yet not so long ago.

— 1 —

While we were engaged, my husband sometimes joked about having a "honeymoon baby."  I told him to watch what he wished for.  Guess I should have told him that more often.  Maybe you can't blame our families and friends for being surprised when we told them, just a month after the wedding (we couldn't wait for the usual first trimester announcement) that we were expecting.  My mom said, "I'm too young to be a grandma!"

— 2 —

Sunshine has always been our social butterfly.  I think she gets that from her dad, though sometimes we blame it on the fact that we took her to church when she was a week old.  The entire youth group (whom my husband and I helped lead) wanted to hold her.  Being the girl who'd always held everyone else's babies at church, I said yes.  Being the protective first-time dad, my husband said no.  Sunshine never played shy with anyone.  When we moved to northern Alberta, we joked that she made friends faster than we did.  We'd be introducing ourselves to someone and have to say, "Oh, and we have a daughter... she's... uh, just over there with that grandma."

— 3 —

Some of Sunshine's favourite things.

— 4 —

Sunshine enjoys being a big sister.  Yesterday, for example, she came downstairs to ask Daddy for help because she couldn't get the diaper back on Lily.  He went upstairs to find the poopy diaper in the garbage already and Lily running around half-naked.  We've also had to tell Sunshine she's not allowed to help her little sister into the high chair.  She often chooses clothes for Lily to wear and encourages Lily to go potty while she's going potty.  If we are out walking, they like to hold hands, earning them smiles from any passersby.

— 5 —

Sunshine is quite proud of the fact that she's a "big girl" who can go to school like Mommy and Daddy.  Before she started preschool, one of her favourite games was to pack a pencil and a notepad into a bag or a purse, then to tell me, "Goodbye, Mommy, I'm going to school."  She'd then walk down the hallway to the door, turn around and walk back and say, "I'm home again!"  My job was to say "goodbye" and "hello!  How was your day?"  Preschool is the highlight of her week.

— 6 —

I had this idea, before Sunshine was born, that motherhood wouldn't be too hard because I had lots of babysitting experience and knew how to change diapers and take care of kids.  It didn't take very long for that idea to fade away.  Motherhood has been a journey in which I learn as many new things as Sunshine does.  Being a mom has the incredible highs of loving this unique little person and the incredible challenges of giving so much more of myself than I could have ever imagined.

— 7 —

Sunshine is, as most of you know, the nickname I use for my oldest daughter on my blog.  Like many mommy bloggers, I've tried to protect the privacy of my family by not using their names or pictures online.  My husband chose Sunshine's nickname as a play on her middle name, but I like it just for it's meaning.  In so many ways, she is my sunshine.  She makes me smile and laugh and brightens my day.  I'm so grateful to God for bringing her into my life.  So happy fourth birthday, Sunshine!

Looking at Lent

Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent in the Catholic Church (and other denominations).  I have to admit that as I saw it creeping up on my calendar, I thought, "Aw, shucks, I guess I better think of something to give up."  I found myself wishing I could ignore Lent with its inconvenient emphasis on fasting and abstinence.  Then I found myself questioning both my attitude and my assumptions.

Just as Advent is a season of preparation for Christmas, Lent is a season of preparation for Easter.  This year, as I spent time preparing for Christmas, I found my anticipation growing.  Easter is one of my favourite seasons of the year, so why wouldn't I want to spend time reflecting upon it and preparing for it?  That thought changed my whole perspective on Lent.

Growing up Lutheran, I often gave up something for Lent with my family—usually sweets (we didn't have a TV).  One year, my parents and I decided to give up dessert, but my brothers didn't.  If they wanted cookies or pies, they had to make it for themselves (which they did), resulting in lots of joking around our house that year.  My husband once gave up sugar for Lent, and he now drinks his coffee with only cream.  And Facebook gets awfully quiet around this time of year, as many people say goodbye for forty days.

But why?  I found myself wondering about something that I've always just done.  One explanation I've heard is that craving those things—food or TV or social networks—can remind us to pray or turn our attention to God.  I've also heard people suggest that instead of giving up something for Lent, we could add something—extra time for prayer or Bible reading.  Yet like the extra attention that charities get at Christmas as we all try to be as generous as the turned-around Scrooge, I wondered why we do these things only at this time of year.

According to my Catechism, the practice of fasting is based upon Jesus' time in the desert after his baptism.  Luke tells us, "Jesus returned from the Jordan River full of the Holy Spirit, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness.  There he was tempted for forty days by the devil. He ate nothing during those days and afterward Jesus was starving." (4:1-2 CEB). Since that happens at the beginning of his ministry, and his resurrection is at the end of his ministry, I wasn't sure how they'd be connected.  The Catechism says, "Jesus' victory over the tempter in the desert anticipates victory at the Passion, the supreme act of obedience of his filial love for the Father. ... By the solemn forty days of Lent the Church unites herself each year to the mystery of Jesus in the desert" (539-540).

That's all very interesting (and makes me think I should ask questions like this more often—I'd be a lot smarter :).  So Lent, instead of just being about a bunch of "don'ts," is really about preparation and looking forward to Easter.  I'm giving up sweets again this year (more on that later), but I'm actually excited for this season now.

____________________

Now for some business... the lucky winner of my Valentine's Day giveaway is my friend Joanna of To a Pretty Life.  Congratulations, Joanna!  I'll put the prize in the mail ASAP.  There's also still time to enter the draw for a copy of Julianne Harvey's eBook Authentic = Happy.  And finally, I joined Twitter.  If you're there too, come find me (@KoalaBearWriter) and say hi!

Do you up something for Lent?  Or, if you've never heard of Lent before, what do you think of these traditions?

Tracy Krauss Launches Play It Again

Tracy Krauss, a fellow Inscriber and author of edgy inspirational fiction, is launching her book PLAY IT AGAIN on Tuesday, February 21 (tomorrow!). You can help her achieve best seller status by purchasing the book at amazon.com on Tuesday – and receive all kinds of cool free gifts while you’re at it!

Here’s how:
1. Go to the Landing Page on Tracy’s website
2. Buy the book at amazon.
3. Go back to the Landing Page and fill in the form with your name, email and purchase number

It’s that easy! You’ll be directed to your free gifts and all you have to do is choose which ones you want.

About the book:

An unlikely duo meet in Play It Again, a story of love, life and faith. Sparks fly when an ex-rock and roll junkie and a stuffy accountant rendezvous at a local resort, but neither are prepared for the emotional entanglements, family complications, and threat from the past that unexpectedly resurfaces. 

Set in the 1980s, this story brings two opposing forces together in a clash of romance and danger, while its musical undertones highlight the theme that God can turn anything into beautiful music. Play It Again is the much anticipated prequel to Tracy’s debut novel And the Beat Goes On. Find out where Mark Graham’s journey began in this, the story of his parents.

What others are saying about PLAY IT AGAIN:
“This is one of the best contemporary novels I've read all year. . . Not only was it well-written, but it was edgy in that the story dared to be honest. . . I can see this touching a lot of people who have thought about God but have been afraid to move forward.”

-  Michelle Sutton, author of more than a dozen inspirational novels

“This book is hot property, and grabs your interest from page one.”

-   Yvonne Pat Wright, author of From Spice to Eternity

Author bio:
Tracy Krauss is a high school teacher by profession, and a prolific author, artist, playwright and director by choice. She received her Bachelor’s degree from the University of Saskatchewan and has gone on to teach Art, Drama and English – all the things she is passionate about. After raising four children, she and her husband now reside in beautiful Tumbler Ridge, BC where she continues to pursue all of her creative interests. Her first two books (And the Beat Goes On and My Mother the Man-Eater) were both nominated for the Indie Excellence Book Awards for religious fiction in 2011. 

Free Stuff:
Here’s just a sampling of the FREE e-gifts from generous supporters:

• An e-copy of Lisa Lickel’s award winning novel Meander Scar
• Sample chapters from The Promise of Deer Run by Elaine Cooper, Warring Spirits by April Gardner, and The Right Person by Stacy Padula
• Beautiful downloadable art cards by author and artist Brenda Hendricks
• A free subscription to ‘PixApple’
• Your copy of Frazzled No More by Shelley Hitz
• A cool Daily Scheduler developed by author Janalyn Voigt
• And much more!

All if you buy your copy of PLAY IT AGAIN at amazon.com on Feb. 21!

DISCLAIMER: This Best Seller book launch has been coordinated with the help of the ‘John 3:16 Marketing Network’ and many other generous supporters. The free gifts are deliverable electronically over the internet or by email by individual authors and supporters. They are not in any way associated with, nor deliverable by, amazon.com.


And don't forget that I'll draw one lucky winner on WEDNESDAY for my Valentine's Day giveaway!

Book Review: Authentic = Happy by Julianne Harvey

Since I met Julianne Harvey at a writing event a couple years ago, I've followed her blog as she's written about chasing her writing goals and shared about working through some personal struggles.  She has organized writing retreats and helped create spaces for other writers in the community to focus on their own writing, launched a new website, and released a children's book.  Now she's written an eBook, Authentic = Happy: A Guide to Dismantling Your Disguise, about being true to yourself and living authentically.

Julianne points out that when we live without disguises, we are happier.  Most of us have disguises—masks we put on to please those around us or to keep from getting hurt—but it takes a lot of effort to maintain those disguises.  Sometimes, in keeping track of all the masks we wear, we lose sight of who we really are (or who we want to be).  And when we are trying to be someone we aren't, we won't be happy.  Julianne presents five steps for letting go of those disguises and finding ourselves.

As I read Julianne's words, I found myself nodding and remembering my childhood and teenage years.  I used to think that if I could be the perfect daughter, my parents would love me more (and be happier themselves).  If I could be the perfect friend, I would have more friends.  The problem was that I often tried to be like my friends instead of being myself.  When I reached university, I found new friends.  We all had different majors, different backgrounds, different opinions on a lot of things—but as I hung out with them, I found I could be myself and still be accepted.

The one thing I wanted from Julianne's book was more examples like that.  Authentic = Happy is full of concrete steps and advice, but I wanted some personal experience—a few stories that would help me picture those steps in action and encourage me to apply them.

At the end of the book, Julianne includes some Group Discussion Questions.  Reading this book with a couple of close friends who can encourage you in the journey would be an excellent idea.  The questions could also be used in a personal journal.  Authentic = Happy is a short, quick read available on Smashwords or any major online retailer.  For more information about Julianne, check out her website.

Julianne is giving away two copies of her new eBook.  Leave a comment below for your chance to win.  Do you agree with Julianne's assertion that authenticity and happiness are linked?  And don't forget to enter my Valentine's Day giveaway too.

Memories, Memoir and Personal Essay

Last week I was struggling to write a lyric essay for my workshop on Friday.  I had an idea (a story about my time in Alice Springs, Australia) and some research (a book I picked up while I was there about a girl who grew up in the Telegraph Station), but the essay wasn't coming together.  I wrote a draft and scrapped it.  Wrote another draft and considered scrapping it too, but I was out of time.  I finally printed it, then spent all night mentally rewriting it.  Three things jumped out to me that I need to work on.

Memory

My trip to Australia happened seven years ago, so my memory is getting foggy about some things.  Other things still evoke a strong picture in my mind or strong feelings.  To work on this essay, I pulled out my scrapbook and journal from the trip, as well as the guidebook I'd taken with me.  As I flipped through the guidebook, I saw places marked with stars—places that stirred no memories.  Had I marked them because I wanted to go there or because I had gone there?

As I read through my journal, I found other differences between my memories and actual events.  For example, I thought I flew from Sydney to Alice Springs.  According to my journal, I flew via Adelaide, and actually got off the plane and back on again.  I don't remember that at all.  Other things I do remember aren't written down or are mentioned by a brief note that doesn't encompass everything that happened.  Thus my journal was a useful tool for names and chronology, but little else.  However, personal essays are so much more than just memories.


Tension

My memories of my trip are, of course, interesting to me and perhaps to the small group of family and friends whom I emailed or called while I was there.  If I'm going to write about them, however, I need to find a way to make the stories accessible to a wider audience—to include the universal theme necessary for a personal essay.  As I look back upon my memories, I know those three months were a significant time in my life.  A coming of age time.  A lonely time.  A time of deepening faith.  Yet putting all of that into words, or showing it in my essay rather than just telling the reader about it, is a struggle.

Writing is one way to explore that time, to sift through my memories and what that trip meant to me.  Yet that's just the first draft—the spilling of the story onto the page.  After that come the revisions, the diving deeper into the story, adding dramatic tension, the reason for telling this story.

Details

This seems to be a weak point for me in both my fiction and my nonfiction.  It's easy to write detailed descriptions when I'm right in the moment.  It's much harder to write detailed descriptions about things that happened seven years ago or to write, say, a short story about a girl in a park when I'm sitting at my desk.  (I've thought about taking my Netbook out to a park and working on that story to capture the setting, but it hasn't happened yet.)  I know how much I appreciate great details in the stories and novels I read, but I find it hard to write that myself (unlike the poets in my class, who seem to turn out descriptive phrases as easily as I'd make a chocolate brownie).  Yet readers want to see, smell, hear, taste, and touch the things that I see, smell, hear, taste and touch in my stories, so I need to describe those things, to bring them alive.

Have you noticed trends in your writing that you need to work on?  Can you identify what it is that you really like about your favourite author or book?  And don't forget to enter my Valentine's Day giveaway!

How to Start Your Digital Scrapbook

Last year, I tried digital scrapbooking for the first time when I found a coupon online.  I'd kinda given up on putting photos in albums as it took so much time to get them printed and sorted, much less add any descriptions or pretty backgrounds.  A friend of mine with lots of scrapbooking experience had done several digital albums, so I thought it was worth a try.  Long story short—I fell in love and recently finished a second album.

Quite a few websites offer digital scrapbooking (below are the ones I've tried).  Each has software to download onto your computer and use to create your book.  You can choose what size and style of book you want.  The software offers various backgrounds and layout suggestions, as well as other tools for cropping and framing photos and adding text.  When you are done creating your project, you upload it to the website and the company prints it, then ships it to your door.

For me, digital scrapbooking was super easy because there was no mess; no glue, paper, scissors, stickers or pictures for Sunshine to get into and "help" with.  I could work on the project for a few minutes, then close it and leave without having to clean up everything.  I also love the small size of the digital scrapbook—it takes up very little space on my crowded bookshelves and is easy to show off to friends and family.

My scrapbooks: 12x12 blue Australia album, 8x8 black Jasper album, and 11x8 brown digital album

If you want to try digital scrapbooking, I suggest watching for coupons.  I got both my photobooks for less than half price by grabbing deals offered on Groupon.  The websites also offer deals and sales, such as two for one deals if you want to order books for grandparents; simply create the digital album and then wait for the deal to pop up before you order.

Picaboo - I used Picaboo last year to create an album for 2010.  It took me a few days to learn everything that Picaboo's software offered.  Once I'd put a few pages together and noticed what all the buttons and options were, the rest of the album was easy.  You can edit your photos (fixing red eye, changing to black and white or sepia, etc).  I particularly liked the layout options in Picaboo; it was easy to add captions and text to the page, explaining where/what/when/why and anything else I wanted to say about our adventures.

Photobook Canada - One of my projects for my Christmas break this year was to scrapbook 2011 using Photobook's software.  While the software was similar to Picaboo's, it offered much fewer background options.  This made it easier to keep a consistent theme to my album, but left me frustrated when I wanted season-specific pages (there was nothing that looked Christmasy).  I also couldn't edit the photos and captions had to be inserted as text boxes (a bit awkward).  The software did have digital "stickers" that I could use to ornament my pictures.

VistaPrint  - I've used VistaPrint for photo calendars rather than photobooks, but they offer a wide range of photo products.  Both this year and last year, I created calendars of the girls for our families.  VistaPrint was the cheapest company and produced nice coil-bound calendars.  They do send out a lot of emails, so if you aren't watching for a good sale, you'll want to unsubscribe from their mailing list.  If you are ordering Christmas products, try to do it in November to get the cheapest shipping.

Creative Memories - My scrapbooking friend recommends this  software, which can either be downloaded or ordered on a disc (you can try it free for 40 days before purchasing).  Creative Memories allows you to create individual pages (8x8 or 12x12) which you can then print at Costco and add to your album; my friend likes mixing traditional pages with digital pages in her albums; she says, "That way, I can keep up with my scrapbook if I don't have time to individually traditionally scrapbook each page."  Creative Memories also lets you edit your photos, layer paper, add embellishments, etc.

As a mom, digital scrapbooking is a perfect solution—quick and easy and mess-free.  And I don't have to worry about the girls pulling pictures out of the albums if they want to look (which they love doing).  Do you enjoy scrapbooking?  How do you organize your photos?

Don't forget to enter my Valentine's Day giveaway.

Book Review: I Just Can't Take It Anymore! by Anthony DeStefano

The title says it all.  I've had days when I feel like I just can't take it anymore—when the girls won't stop whining, when I didn't get enough sleep, when the toys are scattered around the house faster than I can pick them up, when schoolwork plus housework seem like too much, when I just want to scream or cry or run away and hide. 

I Just Can't Take It Anymore!, a picture book for adults by Anthony DeStefano, puts a new perspective on those days by pairing heart-warming and smile-inducing photos with thoughts and questions we've all had.  Written as a simple prayer, this book takes us through the big questions like "why me?" and helps us think about what God's purpose in our day-to-day circumstances—whatever they are—might be. 

“Sometimes people just need to be reminded that there are always things to be grateful for. No one ever has to suffer alone,” DeStefano says.  His book doesn't provide any answers, but it does provide inspiration and encouragement in a short, quick, easily accessible dose.  My tough times as a mom might be tiny compared to your tough times, but this "child-like" book can encourage all of us to greater faith.

DeStefano adds that "even though [the book] is filled with pictures of children, it’s really meant to help adults who are stressed out or who are just hurting a little bit."  He is the author of numerous books, including the award-winning children's books This Little Prayer of Mine and Little Star.  For more information about him, including video clips and reviews, drop by his website.  You can also read the first few pages of the book here. 

Where do you find support or encouragement when you are facing a rough situation?

Don't forget to enter my Valentine's Day giveaway.  I'd also like to give a shout-out to Lisa Johnson for being my 60th blog follower.  Thanks, Lisa!

8 Tips for Building a Marriage that Thrives

The mega-millions spent by Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, and Katy Perry and Russell Brand, on their lavish and exotic weddings failed to guarantee a long and blissful union.  But they are not alone. Recent statistics show a decline in couples getting married and staying married for more than a few months or years.

Can marriages survive in today’s culture? Long-wedded author, Poppy Smith, says “Yes.” Here are Smith’s tips for building a marriage that not only works, but thrives:

1. Readjust your expectations. You didn’t marry your clone. Naturally, your partner will view some things differently. Be willing to flex and accept their right to be themselves.

2.  Appreciate your different strengths. Analyze your personalities, your backgrounds, and what’s important to each of you. Identify each other’s strengths and affirm what these add to your relationship.

3.  Learn to communicate so you’re heard. Women tend to explain and expand.  Men tend to edit. To be heard, communicate according to your spouse’s desired style, not yours.

4.  Understand each other’s feelings about money. Does money signal fun? Symbolize success? Guarantee security? Or ensure power? Knowing what it means to both of you helps in settling money battles.

5.  Practice a conflict resolution style that works for both. Clarify what the conflict is about. Listen to each other’s reasoning and feelings without interrupting. Then decide what best builds your relationship.

6.  Recognize the emotional needs of your mate. Both men and women want to be valued, admired, respected, and listened to. Discover what makes your spouse feel loved and special, then find ways to meet that need.

7.  Prioritize romance and sexual intimacy. Sex matters. It gives physical and emotional pleasure, strengthens love, and deepens commitment. Make time to play or be silly or sensuous in bed. It pays rich dividends.

8.  Share your Dreams. What is it each of you longs to achieve? Are there some dreams you want to accomplish together? Be encouragers to each other and discuss steps you can take now toward your goals.

About Poppy Smith: With her fun personality and passion for communicating life-changing truths, Poppy Smith inspires believers to thrive spiritually and personally. Poppy’s practical how-to messages (in print or in person) uses colorful examples from her own struggles to be more like Jesus. She encourages others to grow in every kind of situation—whether joyful or painful! Poppy is British, married to an American, and has lived in many countries. She brings an international flair seasoned with humorous honesty as she illustrates Bible truths. A former Bible Study Fellowship lecturer, Poppy’s teaching challenges women to look at their choices, attitudes and self-talk. As a result, God’s speaks, changing hearts, changing minds, and changing lives. Watch for Poppy's upcoming book release, Why Can't He Be More Like Me: 9 Secrets to Understanding Your Husband.

Did any of Poppy's advice catch your attention?  Leave a comment below to be entered in my VALENTINE'S DAY GIVEAWAY!  The prize pack includes The Captive Heart by Dale Cramer, Us: A User's Guide by Daniel L. Tocchini, a small wedding or anniversary picture frame, and a Cineplex Odeon movie pass for two with popcorn and a drink!  For more chances to win, share this contest on Facebook, Twitter or your blog or follow me on Facebook or Google+ (and of course leave comments letting me know what you did!).  Contest closes in two weeks, when I'll pick one lucky winner by random number generator.  Happy Valentine's Day!

Toy Storage for the Neat-Freak Mom

I think neat freak is a quality best exhibited in a single person.  It doesn't matter, then, if you like to have your bookshelves alphabetical by author within genre or that every utility company sending you bills has their own folder within your filing system.  Since opposites attract, however, neat freaks are likely to marry those who have greater concerns than whether their desktop is completely bare or the cans in the cupboard are arranged into sections according to whether they are fruits, beans, or tomatoes.

And then comes the baby.  Before she can walk, you can keep her toys in the cradle that she outgrew at three months of age.  Stuffies sit in a photo-worthy arrangement in a spare chair in the room or on top of the dresser.  Clothes stay perfectly folded and sorted in the drawers—short sleeve onesies here, pants there, socks and leggings here.  Then the baby begins to crawl and walk and to play with those toys.  To throw them around the room, where they create booby traps for the unsuspecting adult, especially the one tiptoing downstairs in the middle of the night to find the stuffie that got forgotten earlier but now might soothe the baby back to sleep—if Mommy doesn't incur life-threatening injuries by stepping on baby's block.

You attempt to give each toy its own corner.  Strollers line up by the bookcase, blocks sit beside the couch, small toys go in a basket.  Birthdays and Christmases arrive with more toys.  A sibling comes along to help throw the toys around.  Mommy alternates between despair and cleaning binges.  And then a solution comes along.  The perfect toy bin, which would surely solve all problems of toy organization:

You pull all the toys out of the drawer where they have been hiding.  Even you are amazed at the toys hiding at the back of the drawer.  You arrange them neatly within the bins—one for puzzles, another for purses, a small one for blocks, a large one for dress-up clothes.  Voila!  Your children can now see all their toys to play with them and can easily take them out—or put them away.  And those stuffies, teddy bears, and dolls which are overrunning the bed (and often the floor) can find a new home too:

You relax, smiling, as your inner neat freak takes a break.  For a few hours.  Until the children strew the toys around again.  Until you are the one left trying to remember which bin you had designated for each toy.  Until the toy bin sits there, proudly displaying its unused toys, while the children pull books off the shelves to read or build forts in the living room with chairs and blankets.

You smile.  Encourage them to pick up their toys.  Help them so all of the toys are as perfectly put away as a neat freak could desire.  And pray that one of them will inherit your neat-freak tendencies so you will soon have an ally in the toy organizing department.

Do you consider yourself a neat freak?  How do you encourage your children to clean up their toys?

Book Review: Not in the Heart by Chris Fabry

I've mentioned before that one of the best things about being a book reviewer is discovering new favourite authors.  I came across Chris Fabry last year when I reviewed his book Almost Heaven, which made it onto my Best Books of 2010 list.  This week, Fabry releases his newest novel, Not in the Heart, which I spent my Christmas vacation reading (advanced reader copies are fun!).

Truman Wiley is an out-of-work journalist and ghostwriter with a gambling addiction and an estranged family.  His son is in ICU on life support, waiting for a heart transplant, and his wife yearns for a better relationship with him but can't stand his bad habits.  Truman is well aware of his follies, but is too stubborn to do anything about them—and unlike his wife, he doesn't believe "problems can be solved with a leap of faith."

Then his wife calls him up with a job offer: write the story of a man on death row.  Terrelle Conley's wife is Ellen Wiley's best friend and maintains that Terrelle is innocent.  However, his appeals have run out—execution day is a month away and he wants to tell his story before he dies.  The twist is that Terrelle wants to donate his heart to Truman's son Aidan... if they can convince the governor to agree.

Truman takes the job because it's work, not because he believes in Terrelle's story.  To his surprise, his daughter Abigail appears, offering to be his right-hand man.  As she helps Truman research, she becomes convinced Terrelle is innocent.  Despite Truman's cautions, Abigail will take any risk to find the information she wants—even if it means working job for the man she suspects is the real murderer.  As the clock ticks, time is running out both for Terrelle and for Aidan.

Not in the Heart is a completely different story than Almost Heaven, but just as good.  Fabry hooked me in the first pages and kept me reading to the end, wanting to find out how all the twisted strands of the story would come together—and if Truman would ever reconcile with his wife and face his gambling problems.  All of the characters were completely realistic and while I wanted to see Truman change, I also knew that such change is easier said than done.  The ending was one of those delightful endings that surprised me and yet still made sense within the story. 

One thing I didn't like about this novel was the point of view switches.  Most of the story is told from Truman's POV—the reader is completely in his head, hearing his thoughts and seeing what he sees.  Then the novel switches to third-person POV to show what Ellen or Abigail are doing.  However, those scenes felt strange, pulling me out of the book.  To use a writer's cliche, the Truman scenes were showing and the Ellen/Abigal scenes were telling (and in fiction, showing is usually better than telling).  Sometimes, the third-person scenes seemed to give information we'd already seen from Truman's perspective.  At the end of the novel, I understood why the third-person perspective was necessary; however, I think the novel would have been stronger if Fabry had stayed in Truman's head for the entire story and then written the epilogue from one of the other character's perspective.

If you're looking for a spell-binding, thought-provoking read, may I recommend Not in the Heart.  You can find a book trailer and the first chapter on Chris' website.

Reflections on Greek Mythology

Back when I was doing my English degree, I always intended to take a class in Greek mythology.  Many of the English novelists and poets we studied—and even modern playwrights—used traditional Greek stories as reference points for their works.  Various professors attempted to explain various myths so that we could understand the works we were studying.  However, the class never fit in with my courses back then and I graduated without it.

Last semester, as I was looking for another course to take this semester—one that would not only fit into my schedule but also not conflict with my husband's schedule or Sunshine's preschool schedule—I started looking at Greek classes again.  I am now taking an Introduction to Classical Myths, the biggest class I've ever been in (more students than I can count!), and finding 50-minute classes very short.  I'm also enjoying the material we're studying, which provides much food for thought (when I'm not confused about all Zeus' wives and children).

Like most other cultures, the Greeks preserved their stories first through bards and oral storytellers.  Homer's great epics were likely recited and shared orally before they were written down when a written language was developed.  Much of what we know about early Greek culture comes not from letters or literature but from pictures—statues and paintings and vases.  Over and over, our prof has explained to us how we can recognize certain gods by their unique characteristics—Poseidon's trident or Hephaestus' lame foot or Athena's quiver of arrows.

The earliest written sources we have preserve not the myths and legends, but simple palace records.  Perhaps, because of the prominence of oral storytelling, only minor things like accounts and grocery lists were written down.  Or perhaps letters and stories and poems were recorded on papyrus and parchment, while simple notes were written on clay tablets that could be wiped clean and reused—clay tablets that were fired and preserved when the palaces were burned by invaders and all the parchments and papyrus destroyed.

That idea really intrigues me, perhaps for the irony of what we value and what really has lasting value.  One of the concerns I have about eBooks and eReaders is their longevity.  The first stories I wrote twenty years ago were saved on five-and-a-half-inch floppy disks (remember those?).  Then we used three-inch floppies, then CDs, and now everything just goes on a memory stick.  If I buy an eReader today, will I still be using it in five years?  Ten years?  What happens to all my eBooks when I need a new eReader?

We began our study of Greek myths by looking at background stuff—history and culture and geography.  There area lot of gaps in that, however.  I find it interesting that, with all we don't know about Greek culture and history, we do know what their stories were.  We know that they called themselves Greeks because they all knew Homer's epics, because they all told the same set of stories.  We might think lightly of myths today as fantastical stories that nobody would believe—but we're still reading them, talking about them, writing about them, studying them, thousands of years after the Greeks first told them.

Today, millions of books are published everyday.  Millions of blogs spew information into cyberspace.  But sometimes I wonder... what will still be around in a few thousand years, when a new generation of scholars is studying North American literature the way we study Greek literature?