A Few Friends

5ometimes, as I think ahead to September and the start of classes, I think back to the start of classes for my first degree. I was the eighteen-year-old homeschooled girl, feeling a bit lost among the hundreds of people on campus, wondering if I’d ever make a friend. I had chosen a small university because I knew that, at a big institution, I’d get lost in the crowd.  Still, as I navigated the hallways and looked at other students lugging backpacks, I felt lonely.

One day, a few days after classes had started, I was sitting by myself near the campus café, eating my lunch and pretending to review my lecture notes so that I looked busy. Then I glanced up to see a tall, slender, blonde girl coming towards me. I recognized her from my Religion class; my seat towards the back in that class was a good way to observe who was there.

She introduced herself as she plunked down into the chair across from mine, then asked about my paper for our class. Our professor was new and our class was the only first-year religion class that had to write a paper. We chatted about the paper for a few minutes and then she left, but I felt much brighter. I’d met someone.

A few days later I walked into one of the smaller student lounges—nicknamed the Glass Lounge for its view of the river valley—as the sun was coming up over the trees. I found the same girl sitting there already. It turned out that we both rode with our dads to the university, and neither of us had class until Religion at 11:00. That was the beginning of a year of studying together in the library before chapel and then class.

She transferred to another university at the end of that first year, but in that year we had formed a group of friends that still gets together. This is the first year that we haven’t gone to Jasper together—three weddings and a baby made it a bit hectic to plan a girlfriends’ getaway.

That tall, blonde girl is getting married tomorrow to a short, blonde guy. A lot has changed for both of us since we started classes eight years ago.  I hope the next years bring changes just as good, and that the start of my next degree holds a few friends like her.

Pages of Stories Publisher Talks to KBW

I met Darlene Poier through a local writing class.  At the time, she was just getting Pages of Stories off the ground and was looking for submissions.  Now, the second issue of the magazine has come out.  I asked Darlene to take a few minutes from her busy schedule to chat with us about the magazine.

KBW: How did the idea for Pages of Stories come about?
Darlene: I got the idea about 14 years ago. There are a lot of good novels out there and I found that I got very very involved in some of them. To the point where not much else got done. Add to that, at the time I had a very demanding job with little spare time. So I went looking for a magazine of short stories and discovered there weren’t many out there. Those that were out there were hard to find and when you did were generally genre specific. As the internet was starting to really take off in popularity at that time, I wanted to incorporate that technology as well. Unfortunately, lacking the technical expertise and lingo of what I wanted to do, I couldn’t easily articulate my idea. So, I shelved the idea.

About two years ago a chance conversation with a friend of mine brought it back. We’d been discussing what our dream careers would be and I told her about this one. It stayed in my mind and then finally in January 2009 I started to research and build a business plan around this idea. By this point in time, I had a diploma in computer programming and the internet had advanced greatly. I could more easily explain what I wanted and how I wanted it to be.

KBW: You've mentioned this is your third "career." What other hats have you worn?
Ah well... I’ll be giving away my age here... In my early twenties, I got my diploma in Business Administration and started working in a bank. I did that for a few years and then progressed on to accounting. I started the CGA courses and thought that I would really enjoy it.

While definitely mentally challenging, I knew that it wasn’t for me. I was working as a clerk for a payroll company when I started to play around with Microsoft Excel, automating processes and creating formulas to make my everyday tasks easier. In truth, I’m sometimes a little lazy and will automate tasks wherever I can. Finally it dawned on me that I really liked working with Excel scripts and formulas, so I started taking some computer courses at night, just to be sure I could understand and do it.

I eventually went back to school full time and took computer programming. When I finished I started working in IT and really enjoyed the atmosphere. By this point I’d hit my thirties. I was in IT doing a wide range of technical jobs for a number of years before moving on to my current role.

KBW: Can you tell us a little bit about what goes into setting up an online magazine?
I think the biggest thing is that you have to have a vision of what you want the end product to look like. For me, it started with a plan, then moved on to a drawing and then finally engaging a web development company to bring life to the idea.

In the meantime I needed to get stories as well as have the legal framework in place. I consulted a lawyer about the terms and conditions and the verbiage. Then I started contacting Universities and Colleges that had creative writing programs; as well I contacted literary guilds and the local library. I sent out brochures all over Western Canada and down to the University of Iowa. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the help those places gave me.

As this was an online product, I also needed to get the payment processing portion of it in order. Fortunately, there are a number of good, well-established companies that can help you through this sometimes confusing process. In order to create the magazine you need to have the right software and there’s lots of good ones out there. The one I chose is excellent for what I need to do and helped me to create the look that I wanted fairly quickly and easily.

And then finally is the story selection. I know that my taste in literature isn’t necessarily what everyone else’s is. So I contacted people I know to be avid readers and all with different tastes in fiction to help with the selection. Along the way I got a lot of help and input from my husband as well as my friends. I couldn’t have done this alone.

KBW: You're a writer yourself, aren't you? What do you write?
I think in truth I’m a wannabe writer. I’ve started at least half a dozen stories but haven’t finished one of them. I like to write all sorts of things: historical fiction, creative nonfiction, mystery. What’s that saying...”Those that can, write; those that can’t, publish.”? I can honestly say that I truly appreciate the effort that goes into writing a story and I admire it.

KBW: When you aren't working on Pages of Stories, what keeps you busy?
Ha ha ha ha...I don’t know when I’m not working on the magazine. J Seriously, I like to spend time with my husband (we’ve recently become addicted to the Wii), my dog, and my garden. And of course, I like to read stories!


Issue #2 of Pages of Stories is currently available for sale! Simply drop by the website and login, then go the Current Issues Tab.  If you would like to purchase this excellent and fascinating issue, click on Issue #2 and you’ll be given a choice to either purchase an annual subscription or purchase this issue. Once you’ve made your choice you’ll be taken to a billing screen where you can fill out all the necessary information.

Issue #1 (available for free) has moved to the Previous Issues tab. Let Darlene know what you think of either issue by emailing her.

Morning Musings

Sometimes, when it takes me an hour or more to get Lily settled into her cradle for naptime or bedtime, when I’m up every couple of hours to nurse her in the night, when she wants to be held all the time and I want to bake or write or scrapbook, then I think that mothering a toddler is easier.

Other times, when Sunshine has an accident instead of using the potty, when she throws a temper tantrum because we won’t give her a cookie five minutes before supper is ready, when she doesn’t do what we ask her to do, then I think that mothering a baby is easier.

Sometimes, when I watch Sunshine playing by herself—pushing a dolly in a stroller or dancing with a paper plate or hiding in a box—I think of how long I've waited for her to be able to do this.  Then I think that Lily will never beg me to play with her as Sunshine did, because Lily will have an older sister to play with.  And I realize that something is gone already.

Book Review: A Kiss for Cade

I don’t often read romance, for when I do, I find it boring. Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl encounter obstacle to love, boy and girl overcome obstacle and live happily ever after. I like a bit of a surprise, a few twists to the plot that are plausible but unexpected.

So when I picked up Lori Copeland’s novel A Kiss For Cade—which I won on the Just Write blog carnival—I expected it to be fluff. A quick, entertaining, but predictable read. I was pleasantly surprised. Oh, not by the ending, because of course Zoe and Cade work things out by the end of the novel. But by the humour and the way that they worked things out.

Cade is a bounty hunter who left town fifteen years ago in pursuit of money and never stopped chasing it to return. Zoe is the girl he left behind. She waited nine years for him, then married the local merchant. Now, Zoe’s best friend and Cade’s sister has died of the fever, along with her husband, leaving their four children in Zoe’s care until Cade comes back to decide what to do with them.

Zoe has told herself she’s over Cade, that despite the death of her husband a year ago, she doesn’t want to remarry. What she does want is Cade’s nieces and nephews. She loves these kids like they are her own and even if she has to scrimp and work three jobs to make ends meet, she wants them to stay with her.

Cade knows he can’t stay in town, can’t settle down with a family. There’s an angry outlaw after him. But as he gets to know his nieces and nephews, and realizes that he still loves Zoe, the thought of settling down sounds awfully good. Still, he warns her that there’s no way it could work out… until all the townspeople get involved with a sneaky plan to keep Cade in town with Zoe and the kids.

What I liked most about this novel was the dialogue, the teasing between Cade and Zoe (perhaps Cade’s teasing reminded me a bit of my husband’s). Cade is too likeable to be angry at, as Zoe soon learns. Overall, A Kiss for Cade was a fun, enjoyable read—and maybe I can learn something about writing dialogue from it too.

Q&A with the Tuohys

I'll be reviewing In a Heartbeat: Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving by Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy with Sally Jenkins—watch for the review coming up soon! My husband and I watched The Blind Side and really enjoyed it, so I'm looking forward to learning more of the story.  Here's a taste of what Sean and Leigh Anne have to say.

Q: Besides dominating the New York Times bestseller list, The Blind Side has also broken Hollywood records. Why do you think your family’s story has captivated so many people?
A: We think people love the story because they recognize some aspect of themselves there. We want to be the kind of people who really make a difference in the world, but so many people are convinced they don’t have the resources to be that kind of giver. We wrote In a Heartbeat to share our story in our own words precisely so that people will begin to realize that they can be the kind of people who help change someone’s life.

Q: Let’s talk about the problem of homeless and needy children in America. How do you believe this problem can be solved?
A: There are a lot of intractable problems in the U.S., from terrorism to health care. But the problem of children in need is curable; we can all do something about it today, individually, through the smallest acts. If every church in the U.S. sponsored one child, we could wipe out the problem of homeless children in this country. There are a million Michaels. Not every kid has the potential to become a star player in the NFL, but he or she may be the person who grows up to cure cancer, or becomes a great husband or wife to someone.

Q: How do you respond when people marvel at the risks you took as you brought Michael Oher into your family?
A: You know, you take a risk every day of your life. When you get in your car and drive across a bridge you take a risk. You don’t know if your tires are good, or if the pilings are going to hold, or if the bridge will fall in. But you don’t really stop and think about it, do you? You don’t get up every morning and kick all four of your tires. You don’t stare at the bridge and say, ‘Yeah, I think it’ll hold me.’ How did you know that bridge wasn’t going to fall? Yet you went right ahead and crossed it. Everybody takes risks, every day. You just don’t realize that’s what you’re doing.

Q: How do you define “cheerful giving”?
A: This is not giving to impress someone who may be watching, and it’s not giving because you feel guilty. The Bible says it best: “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”-- II Corinthians 9:7

Q: In the book, you sum up your philosophy of giving in “The Popcorn Theory.” Tell us more about that.
A: The Popcorn Theory is about noticing others. It’s about seeing, not turning away from the immediacy of someone in need. It starts with recognizing a fellow soul by the roadside—even if he doesn’t seem to belong in your lovely red brick neighborhood and he is the biggest damn piece of popcorn you ever saw and his problems seem too immense to take on. It’s about assigning that person value, and potential. Like popcorn, you don’t know which kernel’s gonna pop. They just show up. It’s not hard to spot ‘em. The Popcorn Theory goes like this: “You can’t help everyone, but you can try to help the hot ones who pop right up in front of your face.”

Q: What if I don’t have many resources? How can I be a cheerful giver without a bunch of extra money?
A: Too often we think we lack the means to improve someone’s lot. We’re wrong. The Popcorn Theory doesn’t require you to write a large-scale check, or to take a hungry boy with eyes like leaping flames into your household. But it does require that you perceive the person standing right in front of you, and extend a hand in kindness. Consider this story we heard from a U.S. Senator during a trip to Washington for an Adoption Coalition convention:

There is a little-known Congressional initiative to give internships to young people who were so unwanted they have aged out of the foster care system. This Senator employs one such young man. One day the Senator passed by the mailroom, and paused and turned around. He noticed that his intern, fresh out of foster care, had reorganized all the old files. “This room has never looked so clean,” the Senator said. “You did a great job.” A few minutes later the Senator decided to get a cup of coffee. He returned to mailroom and found that his intern had tears streaming down his face. “Son, did I offend you?” he asked. “No,” the young man said. “That’s the first time anyone has ever told me that I did something good.” This gift had nothing to do with money. What this kid needed most was encouragement and self-worth, and that’s what he was given.

Q: As you share your story, one of the points you stress is that generosity is not just your personal value. It’s a core value for the entire family. What specific things have you done as parents to help your kids become cheerful givers?
A: One of our practices is something we call “Get one, give one,” which means when you receive something, give part of it away. To impress the lesson on our daughter Collins, we sent her to camp with underprivileged kids and on a searing mission trip to the Guatemala City Dumps, where she saw families living in lean-tos amid the garbage, yet with pictures of Christ hung amid the wreckage. Collins came to understand how fortunate she was: “He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.” (Acts 14:17) She also learned how important it was to share some of what she’d been given.

Long before Michael came into our lives, Collins and Sean Jr. learned to accept the presence of kids sleeping on the sofa or lounging around the house. Friends at the Briarcrest School whose parents worked two jobs. One afternoon 7-year-old Sean Jr. came home to find them playing with his X-box. He sought out Leigh Anne and said, “What gives?” She replied, “We’re just helping them out. Be generous.” Sean Jr. went back downstairs and watched the brothers play a video game. “I’ve got the winner,” he said.

Q: In the book, you point out that the most important gifts your children gave each other had nothing to do with money. Tell us about those gifts.
A: As Michael became a member of the family, he and our other kids gave each other two small but crucial mutual gifts—loyalty and protection. At Ole Miss, Collins and Michael went everywhere together, and they and their friends achieved a new level of racial integration at that old southern school. Even now, when our family attends Michael’s games, he remains extremely protective of his sister, insisting on one occasion that his teammate walk her to the car to keep her away from unruly male fans. And for Sean Jr. having Michael in his family means they do more as a family—he gets much more of each of them.

This is one of the blessings of cheerful giving. We have always felt that Michael gave us far more than he received. All we did was put a roof over his head. He has given us back a stronger sense of home and family.

Q&A provided by the B&B Media Group.

Talent in Motion

Darkness cloaked the auditorium, except for a few flashes of light from cell phones and cameras. We stared down at the shadows of the stage, waiting. There was a slight movement and then the spotlights flashed on, revealing a smiling young man striding towards the baby grand piano. He slid onto the seat with the confidence of a seasoned performer, introduced his piece, and then put his hands to the keys.

From my seat, halfway up the benches and to the right, I could see the hammers moving inside the piano, the damper pedal lifting up and down. Music filled the auditorium as the young man’s hands slid back and forth. Then his voice joined that of the baby grand, crooning the song he had written for his grandmother’s 90th birthday. As I listened and watched, I was amazed at his talent, to be able to pen not only the words, but the notes as well.

As he started on the second verse of the song, the orchestra behind him joined in. Tenor sax and flute sang along with the baby grand piano. I thought of what an opportunity this performance was for the young man, even if he didn’t make it to the semi-finals or finals. He had still performed before a crowd at the Calgary Stampede. It was a step towards his dreams. Perhaps, like Paul Brandt, he will one day be a household name and can look back on this day as his start towards stardom.

Throughout the day that my husband, Lily and I spent at the Calgary Stampede, I found myself amazed by the talent there. From the young people performing at the talent show to the gunslinger entertaining a crowd with his spinning guns to the comedians trying to get laughs from another crowd to the people working with their animals. All around me I saw dreams in the making. Young people—and old people—who had spent years doing something they were passionate about were now sharing it with us.

Sometimes I’m so focused upon my writing and my dreams in that area that I forget other people have other dreams. I looked around the Stampede and saw so much creativity. Just as I have worked at my writing for the past ten and more years, so the people I saw there have been working at their skills for years. I felt privileged to share in this display of their talents, to witness this step towards their dreams.

2010 ICWF Fall Conference

ICWF Fall Conference

September 24-25, 2010

Providence Renewal Centre, Edmonton

Keynote Speakers:
Rudy Wiebe and Sigmund Brouwer

Workshops on fiction, poetry, nonfiction, and blogging!

My first Fall Conference was ten years ago.  ICWF was celebrating their 20th anniversary and had brought in Janette Oke, one of my favourite authors, as one of the keynote speakers.  I had just discovered ICWF on the internet and was excited about pursing my writing more.  At that point, I had written several novels but didn't really know where to go next.  I wanted to be a writer, but what did that mean?

I showed up at the conference as the youngest person there.  (Many Inscribers still remember me for that!)  I was shy, uncertain, but found that they were a warm and welcoming group.  Many of the writers I met there are writers I still know.  Kathleen Gibson told me to always carry business cards—you never know when you'll meet someone who'll be a valuable contact as a writer.  Elsie Montgomery has become a mentor as I took over FellowScript from her capable hands, but at that time, she was the president and I was in awe of her.

I learned so much at that conference and at every one since then.  This year will be the first since 2000 that I haven't attended the Fall Conference—it's a bit too far to come back from BC for the weekend.  I'm a bit bummed about missing it, because Sigmund Brouwer is one of my favourite authors and one of the best speakers I've heard at conference.  Rudy Wiebe is a legend in the Canadian literary scene and one of my mom's favourite authors (she went to the university he teaches at), so I'd love to hear him talk as well.  And of course, there's always the fellowship with other writers, the chance to encourage and be encouraged.

So if you are anywhere around Edmonton at the end of September, go to the Conference!

Writers-on-Wednesday: Tracy Krauss

Tracy Krauss is a mom, author, and a new Inscriber whose blog I recently discovered.  She is also the author of And The Beat Goes On.  Here, she talks about writing.

1. How did you become a writer?
Hm … that is an interesting question. I suppose I should list my qualifications – that I studied the classics in University; that I am a Secondary School English teacher; that I have been practicing my craft for more than twenty five years . . . but quite frankly, all those things sound rather hollow. You see, inside I feel that I simply AM a writer. I have always been a writer. Of course, I have a lot of other interests – I am also an artist, a theatre director, a teacher, a wife and mother – but if I had to define myself in just one way, I would say "writer." It is who I am on the inside.

Practically speaking, I began writing seriously about twenty five years ago. (Perhaps "compulsively" is a better word for it!) It began when I had my first child and found myself scratching things in notebooks – scenes, character sketches, dialogue. Eventually, these became a story – my first novel. In those days, however, there was no internet and nobody had a personal computer, so I kept my writing mostly to myself. By the time I was ready to share and seek publication, 16 years had gone by! My first forays into the publishing world were a real eye opener. Getting published wasn’t as easy as I had imagined. (Agents and publishers didn’t just love my work. Go figure!) I took some pretty hard knocks – much needed I will admit – and thus my real growth as an author began. The criticism that hurt so much in the beginning has now become my best friend. The analogy of fire purifying precious metal is so fitting. It is what is definitely needed.

Interestingly enough, that first novel never made it into print, but my current novel And The Beat Goes On was inspired, to some degree by it. In this book, an archeologist (who was a child in my first novel) is seeking the truth behind a bizarre and controversial find – Pterodactyl and human remains purposely buried together.

2. What inspires you to write?
I am inspired by a lot of things, some of which don’t make sense and really don’t always relate to the story I might be writing. Specifically I remember being inspired by music, nature, a curling game, (yes, I said a curling game!) sitting in an airport looking at people. . . I was even inspired once by some characters I had made up while playing the Sims! (Some of these will be appearing in my next release called My Mother The Man Eater – hopefully out before Christmas.) Of course, as a Christian, I am inspired to write the story that I feel God wants me to write, so much of my writing is faith based and redemptive in nature. (I am also a playwright, so this is not necessarily the case with my plays. Some of them are straight up comedy, while others have a moral lesson, but are not categorically "Christian").

In my novel And The Beat Goes On I was very much inspired by my interest in the creation vs. evolution debate and all the research I had done over the years on that topic. When I became a believer myself, I was confused by the discrepancy between what the Bible had to say and what the mainstream scientific community was saying. This led to a lot of digging on my part and then when my children were school aged and I decided to homeschool them, we delved even further into the topic together. I suppose the book is also inspired by my penchant for Sci-fi/fantasy, although it is not really of that genre. It would be best categorized as Romantic Suspense’, but my inclusion of the Nephilim – the mysterious race of giants mentioned in the Bible, satisfied my desire to at least touch on this element.

3. Who is your favorite author and why?
Hands down, my favorite Christian author is Frank Peretti. I love ALL of his books and own pretty much all of them. My favorite is still Monster – I could read it again and again. When it first came out I was almost finished the first draft of And the Beat Goes On. If you’ve ever read Monster, you’ll know that it also tackles the creation/evolution debate, so maybe that is why I liked it so much. Of course, This Present Darkness and Piercing The Darkness are classics by now. He was so forward thinking in his treatment of spiritual warfare in a fictional format. Like I said, I love his writing.

I also love Francine Rivers because of her gutsy treatment of real issues (and her great story telling ability!). I’m not really a big category romance fan. I’m not into "sappy," if you know what I mean. I do love a twist, and I’m not afraid of supernatural thrillers etc. Probably my love of sci-fi again, which goes way back to my pre-teen years when I was in love with Leonard Nimoy . . .

I also love a lot of the classics – Jane Austin, Shakespeare, George Orwell, Margaret Atwood . . . Maybe I’ve just been teaching English too long.

Anyway, thanks for hosting me on your blog. For further info or to buy my book, visit my blog.

The Houseplants

We were halfway through packing up the house when I walked through my kitchen and stopped, staring my four potted houseplants.  Two thoughts flickered through my head.  One, that I could put these in the trailer to go to BC, where they'd sit by themselves for two months and be dead when I got there.  Two, that I could take them to my mother-in-law's for the summer and then attempt to keep them in one piece in the Jeep (along with all our other stuff) on the drive out to BC later.  Neither sounded like a great idea.

I thought about them as I hauled a few more things out of the house.  Our other moves had been short enough (four hours, seven hours) that the houseplants just got put in a safe place in the vehicle and then settled into their new home.  With each move, it took a few weeks (even months) to find the best place in the house for the plants.  It seemed that just as I found the perfect window for them and gotten them healthy and growing well, we'd move again.

I finally asked my uncle if his girlfriend would like some houseplants.  It would be easier to move them twenty minutes away to his farm than to take them to BC with us.  Perhaps they would survive that move!  I gave him the three biggest plants, and kept one small one (which my hubby gave me for Mother's Day one year) for myself.  As I gave them away, I found myself remembering...

The prayer plant came from my mother-in-law when she was downsizing for one move.  It went up north and back with us.  I loved watching the way its leaves folded up each night and down each morning.  At one point, I thought I had lost it; all the leaves turned brown and drooped off.  I kept watering it, but I was about to give up on it when one day, a new shoot appeared.  One little leaf.  Soon there were three and then a big huge plant again.

The spider plant also came from my mother-in-law.  Her plant was giving off baby spiders and I asked her for one when they were ready.  It took it quite a while to take root in its new pot, but then it began growing like crazy.  It was one of my healthiest plants and I was quite proud of it.

The last plant I gave away was an aloe vera, which I got from friends up north.  I had burned my hand by pouring hot coffee over it during the fellowship time after Mass.  We then went out to their place for lunch and I kept asking for ice cubes for my burn.  Finally, the wife suggested her aloe vera plant, as she'd heard it helped burns.  We sliced a leaf in half, stuck it to my burn with a bandaid, and the stinging went away.  They gave me the whole plant, in case I needed more leaves.  Again, it almost seemed like it was going to die after our move, and then came back again.

Plants are hardy, I've decided.  I am certainly no green thumb—I take after my mother in that respect.  I love houseplants but struggle to keep them alive (much to my hubby's chagrin).  I've felt bad in the past for not being able to keep alive the plants that my husband gives me, and so the fact that the little plant I've kept with me is not only still alive but doing well makes me happy.  It even flowers on occasion.

I'll find more houseplants in BC, I'm sure, or maybe I'll put a planter on the patio (I do better with outdoor plants—somehow they are easier to take care of).  But I'll remember these plants and hope that I made the best choice for them.

Musical Inspiration

Today I'm blogging over at Inscribe Writers' Online about a concert my mother-in-law and I attended and how it inspired me.

And this tiny post marks 500 blog posts here (just a bit of trivia for the curious.)

The Seatbelt Ad

This is one of the most moving videos I've ever seen.  (If all TV ads were this good, I wouldn't mind watching TV so much.)  It's certainly better than the gory billboards of what someone looks like when he doesn't wear a seatbelt.

A friend of mine brought up something I wouldn't have thought of.  She said that even one person in a car without their seatbelt on can be dangerous for the others in the car who may be buckled in.  If they are in an accident, the unbuckled person could get thrown around and injure the others.

Attachment Parenting

My friend Writer Mom published a blog post last week that got me thinking.  She talks about how her son is so dependent upon her and her hopes that, now that he's four, he'll grow a bit more independent.  While I've already noticed that Sunshine is growing more independent and likes to do things for herself, both she and Lily have been babies who like to be held.  A lot.

I've wished often they would be easier to put down for naps and happier laying by themselves for longer.  I didn't plan to co-sleep (though the friends who got us into natural childbirth are also co-sleeping advocates), but Sunshine and Lily have had other ideas about that.  Moving them out of our bed is a slow process (Lily now usually sleeps the first part of the night in her cradle).  I have to remind myself that they need me for this time in their lives and someday I will get a full night's rest again.

My husband and I both agree with Dr. Sears' "attachment parenting" ideas.  It makes sense to me that a baby who is held lots and sure of his mother's love would be more secure and independent as he or she got older.  (That's not to say that clingy children like Writer Mom's son aren't held enough, but that children also have unique needs and personalities.  Attachment parenting can help a mother tune into those, as Writer Mom talks about.)

I could also identify with Writer Mom's thoughts about her own childhood.  I think of myself as very independent, and lately my husband and I have had a few talks over my unwillingness to ask for help.  I want him to recognize when I need help and come to my rescue without me having to ask.  As I pondered why that was, I could think of several instances growing up where I asked for help and received none.  That taught me I had to do it myself, that I couldn't rely on others to be there for me.

That in turn made me think about my parenting.  I want Sunshine and Lily to be confident, independent women—but I also want them to know that I am there for them when they need me.  At times, I am annoyed or frustrated by Sunshine's requests—such as when she wants to change her shirt for the third time in a day.  Other times I grow impatient at whiny demands.  Sometimes she really needs help; other times, she just needs my encouragement that she can do it herself.  I need to temper my impatience and remind myself that she's learning and growing.

Parenting is tough, with so many decisions and questions.  It's nice to have the support of other moms, to know that they are also facing similar issues.  And to know that despite how good—or bad—we are as parents, our kids will probably turn out pretty good anyways.

A Move in Review

I forgot how much work moving is.  I always think that it will take less time that it does.  Last Monday, I was finishing the packing while my husband began dismantling furniture.  I confidently told him that, with the amount of stuff we had packed and taken apart, loading the trailer should only take a few hours.

Um, yeah.  Not quite.  His parents arrived at 11 am with the truck and trailer.  At 3 pm, when my uncle called, we were still hauling stuff out.  My sister-in-law had dropped by to pick up Sunshine.  I was alternating between trying to carry things in out in one hand while holding Lily in the other, and trying to get Lily to sleep so that I could cart boxes and help carry furniture.

My uncle came to help us load and my mother-in-law took Lily.  As the house got closer to empty, I began cleaning up behind the movers.  By 6 pm, I was looking for one last box so I could pack the fridge up.  We closed up the truck and trailer, handed the keys to the landlady, and pulled out at 7 pm.

It's always nostalgic driving away from the place in which we've lived for roughly the last year.  I'll be back in town over the next couple months for appointments and mail, but still, it felt like we were leaving for the last time.  For two months, we'll be living close by at my in-law's farm.  After that, we're off to BC... a mountain range and an ocean away from here.  A completely new place.

My husband and his parents drove the truck and trailer out on Wednesday; my uncle and his girlfriend followed with some more of our stuff in their truck (they wanted an excuse for a vacation).  We decided, however, to save some gas in the Jeep and some travel time on the girls, and so I remained behind.  My thoughts went with them, wondering about the scenery, the hours on the road, the new home.  I gave my husband a list of things to check and ask about when he got there, my mother-in-law my camera to take pictures.

And I drove first to my brother's place (where I was able to use his computer to register for my courses for the year) and then to my mother's.  My in-law's place is under renovation right now and it seemed best to be away for a few days.  The chance to attend a girlfriend's wedding shower on Saturday made up, in a small part, for missing the move.  I alternate between looking ahead and looking back; anticipating an exciting new year, remembering the good and bad of the past year.

As my husband says, "Another place bites the dust."

Just Write Blog Carnival

This week's edition of the Just Write Blog Carnival is now up and features one of my book reviews.  Check it out and enter for your chance to win a book!

Book Review: The Healer by Linda Windsor

If you go far enough back in my family tree, you’ll find Scottish ancestry—both my mom and I had Scottish maiden names. Perhaps that’s the reason that I’ve always been fascinated by things Scottish. My husband wore a kilt for our wedding and his wedding ring is a Celtic love knot. Lily’s real name has Gaelic origins. I’ve made oatcakes and eaten haggis, and I love bagpipes (that’s the best part of summer parades). So when I saw Linda Windsor’s latest book The Healer, I was intrigued.

Brenna of Gowrys has lived as a fugitive since her parents were killed in a lovers’ feud. The man who murdered her parents seeks her life as well, fearing her dying mother’s prophecy. She lives alone with only her wolf for company—until the day that she and her wolf save a man from ambush. Brenna begins to hope that this man will save her from her life of loneliness. But her love is put to the test when she learns that this man is her enemy.

As Brenna and Ronan return to his people, they face more challenges to their love. Not everyone is willing to set aside the twenty-year-old feud between their peoples. And somewhere, the man who tried to kill Ronan once is still alive, waiting to strike again.

Linda Windsor weaves a spell-binding tale of love and hate in medieval Scotland. Brenna and Ronan’s story is tied to the legends of King Arthur as well as to legends about Joseph of Arimathea carrying the Gospel—and an ancient bloodline—to Scotland. While Linda skilfully weaves the history and legends into the story, they were still confusing at times as titles and lineages and legends mixed together. Glossaries at the back helped to explain more details.

In The Healer, Linda also attempts to delve into Christian faith versus evil magic. She shows how knowledge of herbs and nature can be used for good in the hands of a healer like Brenna or for evil in the hands of a power-hungry woman like Rhianon. And besides Frank Peretti, she’s only the author I’ve read who tackles spiritual warfare and demonic possession.

This book has found a space in the boxes I packed and I’m looking forward to seeing the next two books in the series—and finding out Ronan’s brother Caden’s story ends. To read an excerpt of the book, visit Linda’s website.  You can also view the book trailer.